What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What! how could you do that?

Do you know what she said mum?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Forgotten in a collection, the discovery of this fossil presents a real problem for scientists as it doesn't belong to any known living family. - Farmingdale Observer

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

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What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

True - how I loved my mum!

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

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What do you mean son?